Leadership beyond the Gender Issue

Maybe my lack of experience with prejudice against women in business goes back to my childhood and adolescence. My mother has been the bread earner for the family as a successful business owner ever since I was a child, my grandmother ran a mild matriarchy at home and I went to an all-girls boarding school with a 1:5 male-female ratio of teachers and educators. In short, I have always been surrounded by strong, intelligent women-leaders who braved the world without much support of their male counterparts. I know that I was lucky to have the opportunity to develop confidence that helps me handle attempts of sexism against my person with ridicule and dismissal. However, I’m aware that not all women feel the same and that many are unhappily disadvantaged and prejudiced against in leadership contexts.

The most primitive and out-dated form of sexism against women in leadership positions has been described by an author for CareerBuilder in an article published at CNN online.  Anthony Balderrama just portays a familiar thought pattern for us when he writes:

“A female boss who is every bit as assertive and goal-oriented as the archetypal businessman will be deemed by some employees as mean and ruthless. If she's not as aggressive as the male stereotype, she's an emotional pushover. Essentially she can't win.”

What this means is that different standards are applied to men and women for reasons only comprehensible with a mindset stuck in the middle ages. Such sexists make two mistakes at the same time:

1)    Instead of looking at the whole person when assessing behaviors in leaders, some people see the gender first and – maybe - the individual later. If their image of a female (e.g. soft, forgiving and accepting) does not correspond with the actual behaviors observed in the leader (e.g. assertive), they are startled and go on to making mistake number 2):

2)    Instead of questioning the behaviors (“I don’t like assertiveness”), they question the person’s gender (“this is not a woman but a dragon”). Consequently, they lose respect of their female boss simply because the observed behaviors were incompatible with their own narrow mindset.

Good Morning, 21st century!

The attitude that leaders, as well as men and women should have certain traits reminds me of the ‘trait theory’ in leadership. It refers to the notion that leaders are born with certain traits, full stop. It does not allow much room for the development of leadership skills, and means you need to pick only certain individuals who are ‘real leaders’. Nowadays, this notion is mostly outdated in leadership studies, because it is too constrained to a certain set of qualities. We know now that effective leadership is often situational and dependent on many different factors. And we also have learned that great leaders don’t just have certain traits, but they show the right behaviors and skills, factors that can be acquired, learned and developed. By women and men alike, no difference!

For those of us who do not think they are sexists but still fall for the gender trap sometimes, please consider the following:

a)    When you work with a female leader whose behaviors you do not appreciate, look at the human being between her earrings. It will strip you of some stereotypes in terms of female and male traits

b)    Discard of that intolerant idea that there are certain traits reserved for certain genders. It’s not only untrue but counterproductive to working together.

What can (female) leaders learn from that discussion? Maybe something similar. For example, instead of trying to represent a certain image of a great leader (remember, images often made up of traits!) focus on the behaviors that you consider as important. Forget about the ideal of a perfect leader and become more aware of your environment, your employees and your impact on them. It will not resolve problems caused by sexists in your organization, but it will make you concentrate more on your own ability to grow into a more effective leader.

I look forward to your comments and feedback on this matter. You can also email me at andrea@derlercoaching.com.