Leaders' 4 Steps to Managing Expectations

Hand to heart: have you ever found yourself a little disillusioned with the people who work for you? Slightly disappointed with the quality of their work, or their attitude, or maybe their lack of fresh ideas and commitment? Maybe you wondered what your life as leader would be like if only X was more like Y, and Z was a little less X... If you had found the ideal employee. Someone who is everything and does everything the way you require and expect it. Maybe you actually know a real-life ideal employee, and sometimes hope that others would become just like them. At the very least, a little bit.

It's OK to have ideals, to know precisely what it is that you are looking for in your team members. However, be aware that these ideals can create expectations towards your real-life employees, expectations that might not be fulfilled and leave you - as their manager - empty, frustrated and disappointed. And this might affect your leadership effectiveness and relationships with them. 

So, how can leaders manage their expectations towards their team members?

Maybe this helps:

My Ideal Car: an analogy

This is my ideal car (true story):

If I had a Ford Shelby GT 500, this is how I would treat it:

Wash and clean it by hand every week Check oil regularly Cover up at night when parked outside Allow no other driver No eating/drinking inside car Regular professional maintenance

Now, the reality check. This is my actual car:

Do I treat a 1993 Toyota Camry like I would the Ford Shelby? Let's check:

Ford Shelby	Toyota Camry
Wash and clean it by hand every week	Irregularly
Check oil regularly	No
Cover up at night when parked outside	Never
Allow no other driver	Always lend to friends
No eating/drinking inside car	Both permitted
Regular professional maintenance	Never

 

Why should I? (It’s not a Shelby!)

      Still, there is something wrong with this answer. Do I treat my real car bad because it’s not a Shelby? Or do I treat it bad because I think it’s not worth it? (either way, I treat my car bad).

Bottom line: I keep imagining my ideal car but the reality is: I’m stuck with my less-than ideal car. And this disappoints me every time I look at the Camry and think of the Shelby.

Question: How can I manage my constant disappointment with Camry, the less-than ideal car? (By changing my mind.)

4 steps to managing unrealistic expectations:

     

1.       Functional aspects test:  What do I actually want from a car?

 

        

Transportation

Reliability

Price efficiency

Low maintenance

 
How do both Shelby and Camry stack up when I look at my actual requirements?

Requirements	Toyota Camry	Ford Shelby
Transportation	yes	yes
Reliability	yes	unknown
Price efficiency	yes	no
Low maintenance	yes	no

  

This is astonishing! My less-than ideal car does everything I really need, and my ideal car won't deliver!

         2.  Reality Check: What is the potential impact of my behaviors on Camry?

(Camry gets treated badly, so his performance will deteriorate, affecting our relationship to the worse).

   

          3. Re-Adjust Focus: What is really important? What is it that I need? 

Re-define actual requirements according to goal.

Become aware of ideal-reality bias. (Ouch. What am I doing with poor Camry?)

         4. Create the right context: Eradicate superfluous expectations 

Focus on the goal.

Display behaviors that instill desired outcomes in Camry. (Treat him well!!)

Managing Ideals Effectively can improve employee and team effectiveness

Research shows that positive expectations can improve employee performance (Pygmalion effect). But do we ever consider the possibility that we might expect too much from others? (e.g. is it fair from me to expect my Camry to be a Shelby?)

If the answer is yes, do we really think that the constant pressure of unrealistic expectations makes us better leaders, managers, team mates or subordinates? 

Quite the opposite, I propose.

This car analogy shows that it’s not some miraculous dynamic that intervenes and creates destructive outcomes following high or unrealistic expectations. It’s our very own attitude and subsequent behavior towards a ‘suboptimal’ other that might just make the big difference. 

If we can change our mindset by following these 4 steps of managing ideals, we can

·          

• Learn to focus on the functional/positive side of what we have instead of wishing for an ideal,

• Understand that it is our own behavior caused by unrealistic expectations that might have an impact on other people's performance and our relationships, and

• Create the context for desired employee behaviors in our capacity as leaders.

(And yes, I  still think of the Ford Shelby GT 500 as my ideal car. But I treat my Camry much better these days.)