Thursday, May 7, 2009

Let's be honest. One step towards Authenticity

Most of us like to think of ourselves as civilized individuals who are generally trying to do the ‘right thing’. As Christians, we have a rough understanding of the Ten Commandments; as business people we have a basic idea of business ethics. At least, we can hold a conversation about our strong values and principles, about what we think is right and wrong.


What’s amusing about this is that sometimes we fail miserably when it comes down to actually acting upon these self-acclaimed principles.


An article in the NYT this week describes a related phenomenon: our exaggerated optimism about ourselves – including our sincerity. The so-called “Holier-than-Thou” effect appears when we think that we are better than others (more honest, or more ethical). The crux with this attitude is that we might find ourselves in situations where we suddenly totally compromise our own principles and do the opposite of what we swore we’d do - or not do!


(This painfully reminds me of my own many broken promises: e.g. not ever to cheat at exams in my student years, not ever to be dishonest during sales conversations in my early sales career or not ever to be impatient with my toddler…).


What strikes me more than this well known fact about a mismatch between values and action is the explanation for it. David Dunning, a social psychologist blames our inability to follow our own morals to situational factors:


“… many types of behavior are driven far more by the situation than by the force of personality. What someone else did in that situation is a very strong warning about what you yourself would do.”


In short, our self-inflating bias about our own strong principles can be diminished by circumstances or situational pressures. That means we might think of ourselves, for example, as particularly honest persons but sooner rather than later we might find ourselves in a situation where we fail to live up to our own high expectations.


Recognizing our own potential to fail


This research points at something very important and I’m not talking about our failure to comply with our own standards.


I think it is our claim of integrity and superiority that partly causes this failure. It is the underlying dishonesty with ourselves that makes us forget that, much more important than thinking about the right thing to do, is actually doing it.


Our inclination to talk about values and to think very highly of ourselves despite a lack of actual follow-up is part of our human condition. It points at a lack of self-awareness during every day interactions. If we observed our own behaviors better we would realize that, as much as we try, we are fallible sometimes. A higher level of awareness of this fact will stop us insisting on our own rightfulness.


Whenever we lay down our own (moral) benchmarks for behavior, we are setting very high standards for ourselves. And so we should. But always with the thought in mind that we might, and that we will fail.  Am I suggesting not having guidelines for our own behaviors? Not at all. A strong value system is the foundation for an authentic person and indispensable for moral conduct. But by recognizing our own potential for failure, we become more humble, more realistic, more human.


In all honesty: let’s just focus on our behaviors


Authentic Leadership is actually characterized by its clear preference for action as opposed to words.  One of the components of the concept refers to the quality of ‘Authentic Behavior’, and has been described throughout the literature:


Authentic leadership is realized when values are acted upon time and again and when there are no gaps between the expressed values and the person’s actions. This means that authentic leaders must convey their principles in every single daily interaction with others, because authentic behavior is only given when leaders act consistently upon values that they promote.


Bottom Line…


So, no matter what the circumstances and situational factors are, genuinely honest people will do what their own principles tell them to do. Aren’t we back at square one again, where we determined that this is exactly where we fail? Actually, no. Because the argument pursued here is not that we must follow our values more (that, too), but we shouldn’t constantly claim that we do when we aren’t.


What we need to understand in order to become authentic (leaders) is not to focus too much on our values and principles and guidelines, but on our behaviors and the impact they have on other people. We actually shape our identity by action, and not by trying to convince others and ourselves rhetorically of our superior ethical viewpoints.


Of course it is a lot more convenient to claim being the bearer of strong values than observing ourselves in every interaction with other people. But once we start this journey into our own behavioral patterns, we will discover things that we haven’t known about ourselves and this can be very interesting. A little painful at first, perhaps. But certainly a lot more authentic.


I look forward to your comments. If you’d like to get in touch with me personally, please write to andrea@derlercoaching.com. Thanks.


References:


Hitlin, S. (2003) Values as the Core of Personal Identity: Drawing Links between Two Theories of Self. Social Psychology Quarterly, 66(2), 118-137.


Luthans, Fred & Avolio, B. (2003). Authentic Leadership: A positive, developmental approach. In K. Cameron, J. Dutton, & R. E. Quinn, eds. Positive organizational scholarship.  San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler, pp. 241-261.


May, Douglas R. et al., (2003). Developing the Moral Component of Authentic Leadership. Organizational Dynamics, 32(3), 247-260.


Shamir, Boas & Eilam (2005). "What's your story?" A life-stories approach to authentic leadership development. The Leadership Quarterly, 16, 395-417.

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